coming home

So, the technological morass my blog landed in oozes slowly towards resolution. I'm having to relearn a good deal of the technical side of things. It reminds me of seeing one of my favorite authors, Douglas Adams, talk about the writing process. Essentially, the first step in his creative process was to go about and buy the latest, most advanced word processing software available, wrestling with installation, taking time switching between swearing off of technology and taking long baths, and eventually buying a new computer and starting over.

For me, the barriers between me and the Internet are admittedly even secondary to the deeper issues of sloth and distraction.

A lot has changed in my life. A lot has stayed the same. But there's more change to come. There are things, people and pursuits, that I've picked up, and there are some that I've left behind. Running changed my focus, and now I'm changing my focus on running, at least for now. The past year has shown me what and who in my life are real and lasting. I've learned about forgiving and being forgiven, and I've learned there's only so much control I have over the latter.

I learned that in the end, I have myself and the people in my life that stick by me, not blind to my errors and transgressions, but despite them, seeing some larger view of me that has something worthwhile that their friendship encourages and nurtures. I'm trying to do better by those people.

Then there's me. I've always been one to doubt and question what I have to offer, but I've also always had some basic feeling that I do have much to offer. At this late point in life, I have to make something of all that.

So, Mr. Adams, I've installed the latest and greatest version of the blog engine over the ruins of the old site that the crappy, crappy iPower (the "i" is for "idiotic" or "incompetent", alternatively) hosting service laid to waste. I am spending an inordinate amount of time trying to get it to work, interspersed with the requisite cursing and renunciation of all things digital, and the occasional beer in lieu of a long bubble bath.

I do this because, dammit, I want some pudding, and I'm hoping someone else does, too. It's where the proof is, you know.