insomnia

i'm scared of going to bed. i'm scared of the silence, the nothingness. i'm scared of troubled sleep, scared of the dreams, scared of the black hole of sleep and the grip it will have on my body and mind in the morning.

i'm mournful of another day past. i'm dreading a new day where i lack the energy and will to make the new day the one where i strike a blow, where i do enough that i once again believe in my potential, and in my ability to manifest it. idon't want to go through it again, watching a day born that is just as likely to die and pass into meaningless oblivion as any other.